Today’s post is by Jessica Rector, keynote speaker, number one best-selling author, and inner communication expert. For more information, please go to jessicarector.com or contact her at 817/523-1529 and firstname.lastname@example.org.
What are you saying to yourself about yourself?
Your inner dialogue is the foundation of everything you do…and everything you don’t do. And it’s often the last thing you think about – if you think about it at all.
When was the last time you said to yourself any of the following?
- I can’t.
- I shouldn’t.
- What if it doesn’t work?
- What if it fails?
- What if I get another rejection?
Organizations often focus on sales techniques, sales strategies, and sales scripts – which is like putting the cart before the horse. Your inner conversations dictate how effective your sales techniques, strategies, and scripts are. That’s why it’s so important to learn to take control of negative thought patterns.
Here are three steps to get you started.
Step #1: Write down your negative thoughts.
Every time you have a negative thought, write it down on paper, on your phone, or in a document. Do this consistently over the course of a week, and you’ll be shocked at how many negative thoughts you have.
Once you write it down, put a note next to it saying where it happened, why it happened, or who it happened with. Concentrate on what triggered the negative thought. How were you feeling before you had it? Were you insecure or uncomfortable? This way, when that situation happens again, you’ll recognize the trigger and know how to prevent the negative thought – or immediately turn it around.
Step #2: Reframe your negative thoughts.
How can you turn your negative thoughts around and into positive action? Your brain is constantly talking to you. Which part are you listening to?
If you say to yourself, “My team isn’t working well together,” your brain will list all the ways it’s not working together well:
- You’re a bad leader
- They don’t like you
- They don’t listen
- You don’t have experience to lead them
- Who do you think you are?
However, if you reframe your thinking, it changes everything. So, instead of saying to yourself, “My team isn’t working well together,” reframe it to:
- How can my team work better together?
- What does my team need to work better together?
- What tools can I provide my team for them to work better together?
When you do this, your brain will answer these, too.
- Create an open dialogue with my team to find out the challenges
- Team building exercises
- Ask them what they need from each other
- Have all of them take the Love Language test, share the results, and practice using them daily
Step #3: Take action based on your reframing.
Have you ever had a really great idea or thought and not done anything with it? Yes, we all have. The longer you think about doing something, the less likely you are to do it – because you talk yourself out of it with your negative thoughts.
(Should I call that prospect? What if my team doesn’t respond the way I want? What if I fail?)
You ask yourself these things and then decide not to do anything, because your (negative) thoughts make you believe things that aren’t true.
The only way to create massive change is to take action. Most people who think they have to take massive action get overwhelmed and don’t do anything. Instead, remember: One small action taken consistently over time creates change.
What one small action will you do today to turn your negative thoughts into positive action to create change?